Sunday, June 13, 2010

Hollah at the Po-Po, Yo

Ever since M got kicked the hell out of our cozy family bed  started sleeping on her own in her Big Girl Bed, she's stopped napping.  Just like that.  Bam.  Over.   It's like she's saying 'look, biotches, I'm holding naptime hostage until you let me back into bed with y'all where I can continue to destroy you're pitiful sex life muah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. No more siblings for me. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.  Ha.

But occasionally, M is so clearly beyond exhausted and miserable, and making us exhausted and miserable that we've resorted to  some of the old tricks from her babyhood.  When rocking and boob don't work, we get in the car for a drive.  Usually, within 10 minutes of quiet driving around LA, with a little white-noise courtesy of the AC, she's out.   And,  since Little Homie is down with the rhythm of the car as well, we sometimes manage to get both babies sleeping at the same! time.  This, my friends, is the Holy Grail of parenthood.  I kid you not.

So, yesterday, after an especially grueling afternoon of bitching whining from M -- which, inevitably means a lot of bitching whining from moi -- we got in the car for a night-night drive at noon.  Little Homie dozed while M sucked her thumb, her eyelids heavy and closing.  B and I gave each other looks of pure, unadulturated jubilation as M's head began to droop.  Both kids sleeping!  Hollah!

Alas, we live in LA.  And maybe someone was jacking up a 7-11 again  or maybe OJ got out and was hightailing it down the 405 again or maybe Britney was having some kind of wardrobe malfunction in public again, but whatever the reason, three squad cars squealed passed us, lights blinking, sirens blaring.

"Shit."  I whispered.

"Dammit."  B sighed.


And as visions of an Afternoon Delight vanished into the Ether, I turned around to see M open her eyes.  And with a refreshed and joyful smile, she stretched, looked out the window, saw the police cars, and said.

"Hey Po-Po!  Hey!" 

And you know what?  Totally worth it.  God Bless Gangsta Rap.
Written by Sarah Tuttle-Singer. Yes, That's My Real Name. (Hi Dad.) at 10:40 PM
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11 Tell me how you REALLY feel:

  1. Yea, personal time with hubby is a hard thing to have when the little ones are at this age. Then as they grow, they'll start to wonder why your bedroom door is shut in the afternoon. Later they'll figure it out and announce to a room full of guest that they know their parents do it every Sunday afternoon, or whenever the bedroom door is shut. Yea believe it or not this is the better time ;o)

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  2. That was, by far, the funniest post I've read today. I hope my kid is half as funny as yours!

    G-d bless Gangsta Rap!

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  3. Gotta respect the po po, even when they wake your kid up.

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  4. Ha! Your kid knows what's up.

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  5. Had to smile at this one! Man, I remember trying to get kids to sleep! We had children of steel who needed no down time. I am still recovering.

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  6. You nailed it, honey.
    You're good.
    REALLY good.

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  7. OMG. I remember those days. We wasted so much gas circling around till my kids fell asleep. And we couldn't leave them in the car too long while they were asleep or they would be AWAKE! when we took them out.

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  8. Yo, that's whack! Those kids be straight up crazy!

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  9. Hilarious! I love it. The girl's got a future in the music industry... little Lady gangsta.

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  10. Absolutely hilarious I wouldn't have been able to continue driving. So freakin cute!!

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  11. This brought back memories of driving around and around and around until they were finally all asleep! I was always tempted just to leave them in the car...

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