Got (Breast)Milk?

The following post is not intended for the prudish or squeamish:

Two mornings ago, Little Homie woke up with gloppy goo in his left eye. One panicky google search later, I learned that my baby boy probably has a blocked tear duct. How special for us. But, since the boogers dripping from his eyelashes were green and smelly (yes, I checked. Welcome to parenthood) I figured the duct was infected. So I called the pediatrician for an appointment.

Dr. S agreed with my diagnosis, and told us to come in at 3:45 that afternoon for a look-see.

"In the meantime, massage the space between his eye socket and nose to help clear the blockage, and if you're nursing, you can put a few drops of you breast milk in his eye. That'll help keep the infection from spreading."

"Really?"

"Really."

Evidently, the Immunoglobulin A found in breast milk is one kickass antibody.

And so -- per doctors orders -- armed with some seriously heavy chest artillery, I've been shooting Little Homie in the eye with my breast milk. He smiles and coos each time I squirt milk on his face. Great. When he develops an unhealthy obsession with fetish porn involving gigantic boobies and milk, we'll know why.