I now know these truths to be self-evident:
...If I book a waxing appointment with Olga, the aesthetician for Tuesday, December 8th, I will go into labor on Monday, December 7th.
...If I dress Little Homie in that special outfit I splurged on at Baby Gap, within thirty minutes, it will be covered in baby shit.
...If I blow a wad of cash on the latest educational baby toy, M will be more interested in the box it came in.
...If there is one lonely piece of dog shit on an entire acre of grass, M will find it.
...If there is only one sick and snotty little girl at the park, M will make friends with her.
... If I brag to my friends that Little Homie only wakes up once a night to eat, he will start waking up every hour on the hour for a snack session.
...If I wear a white tank-top, my boobs will leak.
Like pooping on the delivery table and first-time postpartum sex there are things that no one talks about. Oh well. Lessons learned.
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17 SAY ANYTHING (COMMENT):
It doesn't work reverse, does it? it would be too easy like wishing for the interest to be toward the gift box so that he gets exited by the educational toy!!!it's like wishing to loose the lottery in order to become a millionaire I guess...
Those are truths, to be sure. I can back you up on most of those.
I love this! SO true! The last sentence is by far my favorite! You crack me up and I look forward to reading each and every one of your blogs!!!!
I'm with DG, I can back you up on pretty much all of these.
Those are some very important lessons learned!
~WM
How about: If the older one is potty training, she will have to go just as you are getting let down while nursing the newest one.
This is so true! Especially about splurging on an outfit. I don't know how many too cute outfits that I splurged on, that wound up ruined by baby poop or baby formula stains. Gah!
Yes, they are true, unfortunately.
That is an interesting post about first-time sex after childbirth.
Secretia
Truth be told, I pooped during labor.
Immediately after giving birth, I asked the doctor if I had pooped, and he asked me if I really wanted to know. I said, "sure." He told me that I had. Good times.
Hi - you posted a really nice comment on my blog a couple months ago and like a rude a-hole I totally forgot to check out your blog! I'm so sorry! I'm now following you and love your blog. Thanks for your sweet comment and I apologize it took me so long.
Those are oh so true!
Oh god, I have NEVER heard about the pooping. In all my years of listening to my friends stories about their childbirths, not ONE has ever mentioned that. ooo...
Love your frankness and oversharing!!
Haha, no, people tend to keep schtum about the pooping humiliation. Been there, done that. Like having a head covered in blood and gunk sticking out of what used to be your vagina was the worst bit!
x
Ha! Those are all very true! Sometimes all you can do is laugh!
Bwhahaha All so true! For me, if there is stomach flu at school. My kids will catch it.
So true...
So unforunately, very true.
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