Move Over, Martha Stewart!

My culinary skills are legendary: I can microwave a mean frozen lasagna from Trader Joes, heat up a can of pinto beans, boil water in an electric kettle, and, if I'm feeling really ambitious, scramble some eggs. B married me for many reasons -- cooking wasn't one of them.

That said, there is an old family recipe that I have managed to master. Every year around this time, since I was a little girl, I bake meringue cookies. It's a delicate balancing act of taste, texture, and time -- it's almost meditative... until you lick the bowl, eat the entire batch in one sitting, and get the shakes from an intense spike in your blood sugar. Still, these cookies are so worth it.

And, beyond the intense sugar rush, I love making something that my Gramma Mary Emily's mother taught her how to make. Standing in my cheery kitchen, with B hovering over my shoulders trying to swipe a taste of the batter while M sits in her high chair and decorates herself with avocado, makes me feel like the domestic goddess I will never be. It's kind of nice.

So, if I can bake these cookies, then anyone can:

INGREDIENTS:
Two egg whites.
3/4 cup of Sugar.
1/8 teaspoon of Salt
1/8 teaspoon of Cream of Tartar
1/2 cup Hershey's Chocolate Chips (I prefer milk chocolate, but others like the semi-sweet)
A Splash of Vanilla Extract (less than 1/8 teaspoon)

YOU WILL ALSO NEED:
Two greased cookie sheets (I like using butter or coconut oil, but Crisco works too.)
An electric mixer
A spatula
A teaspoon

Preheat the oven to 325 F.

Separate the yolks from the egg whites, and add the egg whites to a medium sized bowl. Feel free to give your cat the remaining yolks. (But, she might 'thank' you for them later by leaving a decapitated mouse or half a bird on your front porch.)

Whip the egg whites either with an electric mixer, or by hand. (Beating the egg whites by hand takes forever, so this should only be done by people with a martyr complex who feel like they have something to prove.) If you are using the electric mixer, put it on the highest setting so the egg whites get super frothy.

After the egg whites start to stiffen, slowly add your sugar, salt, and cream of tartar while continuing to beat the crap out of your egg whites. This entire process should take at least 10 minutes.

I say whip it. Whip it good.

Once your batter seems stiff and dense, use a spatula to carefully test it. Touch the tip of the spatula to the batter, and if the batter peaks like a little ski slope and stays that way, then mazel tov, you're almost done whipping.

Add your splash of vanilla extract, and continue to whip your batter for another minute or two.

Now, You can turn off the electric mixer. Or, if you've been whipping your batter sans the assistance of Thomas Edison, massage your crippled hand and moan in pain for everyone to hear.

Feel free to taste your batter. I promise. It's delicious.
(NOTE: If you're afraid of Salmonella, skip this step.)

Now, very very gently add the chocolate chips to your batter, and fold them in with the spatula.

Then, using a teaspoon, place your batter on your greased cookie sheets. Just a dollop of batter for each cookie will do you.

Then, bake. Remember, ovens can be persnickety, so check your cookies after 25-30 minutes. The best way to determine if they're done is to taste one. They should crumble in your mouth, and melt accordingly. If they're sticky, then they need more time.


So, I hope you'll bake these and enjoy them. And if you do, feel free to send a few my way. I'm always down for a sugar rush.